If you’re writing fiction, telling adjectives are an easy form of telling to overlook.
It’s easy to skip past them because they’re such a quick way to move a story forward. However, speed is not always the best option.
Very often, using a simple adjective is a missed opportunity to show a reader what’s happening, rather than simply telling them.
Whenever you catch yourself writing “she was happy,” take a moment to think about how you could show the emotion instead of telling it with an adjective.
Telling adjectives are easy to spot
When you see “she was,” “he was,” “they were,” or “it was,” check the next word.
If it’s an adjective describing an emotion or state, you’ve probably found a telling adjective.
That’s when you should think about whether the adjective is quickly telling an emotion or state, or helping to show it.
In many cases, it will be telling because there is nothing around it to show the reader what is happening.
It’s usually an easy fix. All you need to do is use a short, descriptive phrase to show the emotion or state.
A simple example might be “He was angry,” which is classic telling.
But “He strode to the door, cursed, and slammed it on his way out,” is showing.
It’s easy to see the difference between the two examples.
You don’t need a long descriptive passage, as you can usually show the sense of the adjective in a handful of words.
Once you start recognizing telling adjectives, you can decide when to replace them.
Common examples of telling adjectives
The examples below will help you create your own descriptive phrases to replace the most common telling adjectives.
Telling: She was nervous.
Showing: She checked the clock for the tenth time in five minutes.
Telling: He was embarrassed.
Showing: He looked down and wished the floor would suddenly open up and swallow him.
Telling: She was excited.
Showing: She couldn’t sit still as she waited to find out if she had won the award.
Telling: They were confused.
Showing: They each read the message twice, but still couldn’t understand what it meant.
You can see how easy it is to replace each adjective. All you need is a little imagination to rewrite a sentence to create your own phrases for any adjective you find.
Here is a quick list of more of the most common adjectives in fiction writing that you might need to replace.
Sad, scared, frustrated, bored, anxious, terrified, surprised, exhausted, jealous, bitter, guilty, proud, confident, lonely, frightened, disgusted, tired, and impatient.
You can also use my free Show, Don’t Tell Checker to help you discover how much of your writing is telling or showing.
If you’re new to creative writing, learning how to show and not tell is a great way to quickly improve your writing.
When you don’t need to replace adjectives
You certainly don’t need to replace every adjective in your story.
Sometimes an adjective is the best word choice, particularly when the information isn’t important enough to slow the story down.
For example:
The room was freezing cold.
If the temperature is simply incidental, there’s no real benefit in trying to make the reader experience the cold in three long descriptive sentences.
And:
She was exhausted after her thirteen-hour train journey.
If her tiredness isn’t the main point of the scene, the adjective and noun phrase are enough information.
A good rule of thumb to follow is to show when the detail matters, and tell when it doesn’t.
Learning to show
Show and tell isn’t only about adjectives. It’s a much bigger story than that.
In an earlier article, I wrote a guide about 25 common telling verbs and how to minimize them.
The process is very similar. With telling verbs, you often need to describe an action, but sometimes a state.
Another telling structure is the passive voice. It can sometimes hide what or why something is happening, which is why active voice is often preferable in fiction writing.
However, passive voice has some beneficial uses in fiction because it can create mystery, suspense, or intrigue.
He woke to find a threatening note that had been slipped under his hotel room door during the night.
Show and tell isn’t about a set of defined or recognizable vocabulary or structures. It’s about the story.
It’s up to you to decide what parts you should show, and what parts you can simply tell.
Summary
Writing is always about making good decisions.
With show and tell, and telling adjectives in particular, it’s never a black and white, or yes or no answer.
You have to look at a sentence in its surrounding context to decide if you need to make changes.
Sometimes it’s yes, this will improve it. But as often, no, it’s just fine as it is.
Related Reading: Zap Dead Words In Writing – Free Dead Word Checker
English teacher, writer, and author. Passionate about grammar, creative writing, and self-publishing. Always exploring new tools and tech to help writers succeed.
