One-Star Bad, Yet Funny Amazon Book Reviews

wonderful one star bad book reviews

Terrible Amazon book reviews for your Kindle book are not as bad as you think.

Call me a twisted masochist, but there is something perversely pleasurable that I adore about one-star bad book reviews.

I have been fortunate enough to gain, mostly, wonderful feedback and positive reviews on Amazon from readers.

But it never ceases to amaze me what some ‘let’s stick the boot in,’ readers find worth commenting on after reading (or perhaps only possibly reading) my books.

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Usually, it involves ignoring the story entirely and finding fault in anything from UK spelling to hating the cover of my book on Amazon.

With a little imagination, I suppose, there is always something to dislike about any book – or any author.

For those new to writing and self-publishing, bad one-star Amazon reviews can come as an unpleasant shock. It can even be a depressing experience, especially if the reviews seem to attack the author personally.

But they are a reality, and for any author with a thin skin who struggles to deal with them, it’s time to toughen up.

Instead of jumping off the nearest balcony or in front of a train, accept them and understand that someone went to a lot of trouble to leave a review on your book, even if it was less than complimentary.

 

A few bad one-star rating book reviews are a fact of life

Let’s face it, a book with only five-star reviews looks like it’s all been faked.

Negative reviews are, in fact, necessary and beneficial for balance and to show that your book has been read and reviewed by more than just your family.

In a perverse sense, a book needs a couple of bad reviews from honest reviewers to validate the credibility of all the other good reviews a book receives.

To give a taste of the flavor of one-star book reviews, here is a small selection below of a few of my favorite bad, yet funny book reviews I have received.

In reading 34% of this book I have documented 17 typos, and I stopped counting all the incomplete sentences in the first 10%.

As far as fast moving, this story read slower than Jane Austen or Dostoyevsky.

Well, how many pages is 34%, and sentence fragments stopped being counted after 10%? Why did you stop at 10%?

Perhaps my British English spelling accounted for some of the typos, but to be ranked up there with Jane Austen and Dostoyevsky is quite a backhanded compliment. Nice!

Oh, by the way, you missed a third person ‘s‘ on read. The story reads! Typo to you at the 87% point of your review.

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This is one of my absolute favorite bad book reviews.

It’s utterly banal, although Haines comes across as a person who it may be fun to have a drink with.

Cheers! I’ll drink to that. So when do we meet for a banal beer?

I am afraid that unless you are a fairly interesting person leading a fairly interesting life (let us say a Bill Bryson), writing a book about yourself and your opinions usually is not really interesting.

Who is Bill Bryson? Anyway, I’ve met Charles Aznavour and Phil Collins, which I think is interesting?

But you’re right. I am really boring, as most writers are. I’ll be sure to write in the third person next time to make myself sound more interesting.

It was kind of silly to me. Might like it, it is SyFy but I did not care for the story line.

Um, I think you meant sci-fi. Oh, and of course, it was silly. The story is a farce, and a farce is supposed to be a bit silly.

Eh, who might like it? I’m really sorry, but your grammar lost me in translation. But did you happen to like the cover?

where are all these high reviews coming from?

From readers actually. You know, those people who buy and read books, to the end. By the way, in my book, a sentence usually starts with a capital letter.

As you can see, my little selection of terribly bad reviews was actually quite fun. So, if you get a bad one-star book review, don’t get upset, and definitely, do not respond to them.

Some of these one-star reviewers are habitual and seeking attention. Replying and trying to defend yourself, or argue, only plays to what they would like – more attention. 

Just have a laugh, or a quick little cry, and be thankful that someone went to the trouble of writing a review of your book.

I have one last important note about one-star book reviews.

Without fail, they are almost always posted on ebooks that are perma-free or have been part of a free book giveaway, especially on Kindle.

If you would prefer to attract fewer meaner book reviews, perhaps avoid giving your ebooks away for free too often.

 

Further reading: How To Handle Negative People And Spiteful Criticism Online

 

Derek Haines

A Cambridge qualified CELTA English teacher and author of 18 books with a life long passion for publishing in all forms. I started my working life as a lithographer and spent over 30 years in the printing and publishing business. Originally from Australia, I moved to Switzerland 20 years ago. My days are spent teaching English, writing and wrestling with technology while enjoying my glorious view of Lake Geneva and the Alps.

17 thoughts on “One-Star Bad, Yet Funny Amazon Book Reviews

  • May 28, 2019 at 8:09 am
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    I have very few reviews so getting the nasty 1-star on Goodreads was disheartening. Especially when he only read one chapter. He also commented on a supposed typo in the first sentence and grammatical errors that were not really errors.

    You’re right about attention-getting. That’s all this was. He either gave 1-star reviews with a lot of drivel or 4-5 stars that said something like, “f***ing good read.” Thanks for your humorous take on this topic.

    Reply
  • August 30, 2018 at 8:04 pm
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    On my self-published anthology Click to Click: Tales of Internet Dating.:”the worst book I have ever read.”

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  • August 30, 2018 at 7:43 pm
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    It’s better to get a review than no review at all

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  • July 23, 2018 at 4:09 am
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    Great post! It helped me see the humor in the one-star review I recently got for my book on bank M&A:

    One star “it provides little technical details about how the M&A actually works. most of the contents are paraphrases of relevant legal standards. anyways, the author is a literature PhD who has never been in banking” Shuyan Wang

    No matter that financial services is a highly regulated industry, so any book about bank mergers must include them; no matter that the book presents extensive guidance on valuation as well as law; no matter that my coauthor was a banker; .no matter than I have an MBA and decades of experience in financial research. No….this reader was disappointed and lashed out, citing my PhD in literature as a tragic flaw……

    I have coauthored nine books in the Art of M&A series for McGraw-Hill and I think this will be my last.

    It is time to write the Great American Novel. I may cast Shuyan Wang as the nemesis for my heroine!
    Alexandra Reed Lajoux

    Reply
    • July 11, 2019 at 6:44 am
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      Correction: “must include them” has no antecedent for the pronoun! Eeek! I should have written “must include rules and reg’s.”

      Reply
  • December 17, 2017 at 8:23 pm
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    My estranged sister left me a damaging one-star book review. She’s never even seen the book!

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  • June 6, 2017 at 9:24 am
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    A friend had to explain that; “It’s a story, Jim, but not as we know it” was a bad review. Up to that point, I’d been quite flattered by the analysis. At least the reviewer was sufficiently moved to post. Positive thinker or delusional? I suppose that’s for others to say…

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  • April 22, 2017 at 7:36 pm
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    The most outrageous one I have ever seen was 1 star and comment that the reviewer had returned the book unread because of the price.

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  • March 17, 2015 at 8:04 pm
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    Derek, a great post. The one star review bit made sense. Oh, oh…there are a couple of your typos! But, never mind, the post content overrides them. Christine

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  • March 17, 2015 at 1:02 pm
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    I find it amazing that the one star reviewers can’t write worth a penny. Your examples were very humorous, and it might be hard to take them seriously..

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  • March 17, 2015 at 11:32 am
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    Its great you can laugh at yourself. There is wisdom in your amusing post. Regards. Kevin

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  • March 16, 2015 at 8:48 am
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    Kind of reminds me of a particular one star for one of my books Derek:

    “The story dosent really pull the reader in. The writing is ment for a very young reader. The story line is rather boring.”

    Note that the ‘reviewer’ can’t spell to save themselves! ;)

    Reply
  • March 15, 2015 at 3:42 pm
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    Hahahahaha! But seriously. Very intelligently put, especially the bit about having no bad reviews looking, well, suspicious. Am now more than tempted to read more of your stuff.

    Reply

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