Wonderful One Star Funny Book Reviews On Amazon
Terrible one-star funny book reviews for your Kindle book are not as bad as you think.
Call me a twisted masochist, but there is something perversely pleasurable that I adore about one-star bad book reviews.
I have been fortunate enough to gain, mostly, wonderful feedback and positive reviews on Amazon from readers.
But it never ceases to amaze me what some ‘let’s stick the boot in’ readers find worth commenting on after reading (or perhaps only possibly reading) my books.
What can I attack?
Usually, bad book reviews involve ignoring the story entirely.
But finding fault in anything from my UK spelling to hating the cover of my book on Amazon is fair game.
With a little imagination, I suppose, there is always something to dislike about any book – or any author.
Bad one-star Amazon reviews can be an unpleasant shock for those new to writing and self-publishing.
It can even be a depressing experience, especially if the reviews seem to attack the author personally.
But they are a reality, and for any author with a thin skin who struggles to deal with them, it’s time to toughen up.
Don’t jump off the nearest balcony or in front of a train.
Learn to accept them.
Simply be grateful that someone went to a lot of trouble to leave a review on your book, even if it was less than complimentary.
A few bad one-star rating book reviews are a fact of life
Let’s face it, a book with only five-star reviews looks like it could be using fake or paid reviews.
Negative reviews are, in fact, necessary and beneficial for balance and to show that your book has been read and reviewed by more than just your family.
In a perverse sense, a book needs a couple of bad reviews from honest reviewers to validate the credibility of all the other good reviews a book receives.
To give a taste of the flavor of one-star book reviews, here is a small selection below of a few of my favorite bad, yet funny book reviews I have received.
In reading 34% of this book I have documented 17 typos, and I stopped counting all the incomplete sentences in the first 10%.
As far as fast moving, this story read slower than Jane Austen or Dostoyevsky.
Well, how many pages is 34%, and sentence fragments stopped being counted after 10%? Why did you stop at 10%?
Perhaps my British English spelling accounted for some of the typos. But to be ranked up there with Jane Austen and Dostoyevsky is quite a backhanded compliment. Nice!
Oh, by the way, you missed a third-person ‘s‘ on read. The story reads! Typo to you at the 87% point of your review.
Some of my favorite bad but funny book reviews
It’s utterly banal, although Haines comes across as a person who it may be fun to have a drink with.
Cheers! I’ll drink to that. So when do we meet for a banal beer?
I am afraid that unless you are a fairly interesting person leading a fairly interesting life (let us say a Bill Bryson), writing a book about yourself and your opinions usually is not really interesting.
Who is Bill Bryson? Anyway, I’ve met Charles Aznavour and Phil Collins, which I think is interesting.
But you’re right. I am really boring, as most writers are.
I’ll be sure to write in the third person next time to make myself sound more interesting.
It was kind of silly to me. Might like it, it is SyFy but I did not care for the story line.
Um, I think you meant sci-fi. Oh, and of course, it was silly. The story is a farce, and a farce is a bit silly.
Eh, who might like it? I’m really sorry, but your grammar lost me in translation. But did you happen to like the cover?
where are all these high reviews coming from?
From readers actually. You know, those people who buy and read books, to the end. By the way, in my book, a sentence usually starts with a capital letter.
As you can see, my little selection of terribly bad reviews was actually quite fun.
So, if you get a bad one-star book review, don’t get upset, and definitely, do not respond to them.
Some of these one-star reviewers are habitual and seeking attention.
Replying and trying to defend yourself, or argue, only plays to what they would like – more attention.
Just have a laugh or a quick little cry, and be thankful that someone went to the trouble of writing a review of your book.
I have one last important note about one-star book reviews.
Without fail, they are almost always posted on ebooks that are perma-free or have been part of a free book giveaway, especially on Kindle.
If you would prefer to attract fewer meaner book reviews, perhaps avoid giving your ebooks away for free too often.
Related Reading: How To Handle Negative People And Spiteful Criticism Online
19 thoughts on “Wonderful One Star Funny Book Reviews On Amazon”
Thank you, so much, for this article. After discovering some 2-star ratings on Goodreads for my newly launched book (which they received free), I needed some perspective and found it in your articles. I have also heard a wonderful radio interview on the same topic, a newly launched book getting a horrible rating, their first rating on Amazon that sits there like an ugly face on their book’s review section.
Well, I can toughen up, but I also agree that Goodreads and giving away books for free are probably a waste of time and money. They are getting the book free, then saying the book’s not for them. Why say anything? My parents taught me, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. I try to look at the author’s heart and soul that went into the writing of their novel and imagine if it were me, before I write a review, But, some people, like you say, can’t help themselves. One thing I learned from the radio interview I heard, was to take a look at the other ratings said 2-star or 1-star reader left for other books. I did. And, the only books they gave 5-stars for were children’s books, like Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Every adult book, except romance novels, were given 2-stars. So, there you go. I think. All in all, my life has not been bettered by Goodreads, so I think I will let it go. My life has not been bettered by Facebook either. I discovered a new site, just for authors, and I love it.
I love this post! It you want to be a writer “tough skin” is a must. The low reviews do sting, however, they help you grow, especially if it’s detailed.
I received a low review from “Indie reader” once. He said, “This book was Smothered in emotion. Reminded him of classic novel by Louise Merriwether Daddy was a number runner. A clumsily executed afternoon TV special.”
The PR lady said “ I’m so sorry, I won’t post it.” I said “Yes you will.“
In many cases when a reviewer just attacks the editing, you have to brush those off. There’s always someone who can find something wrong with you book. I had a review attack my editing on my latest book. It sounds much like your review. After it was posted, an editor immediately Inboxed me telling me she could fix it for a few grand. I said, “I’ll pass.
Anyway, awesome post!
I have very few reviews so getting the nasty 1-star on Goodreads was disheartening. Especially when he only read one chapter. He also commented on a supposed typo in the first sentence and grammatical errors that were not really errors.
You’re right about attention-getting. That’s all this was. He either gave 1-star reviews with a lot of drivel or 4-5 stars that said something like, “f***ing good read.” Thanks for your humorous take on this topic.
On my self-published anthology Click to Click: Tales of Internet Dating.:”the worst book I have ever read.”
It’s better to get a review than no review at all
Great post! It helped me see the humor in the one-star review I recently got for my book on bank M&A:
One star “it provides little technical details about how the M&A actually works. most of the contents are paraphrases of relevant legal standards. anyways, the author is a literature PhD who has never been in banking” Shuyan Wang
No matter that financial services is a highly regulated industry, so any book about bank mergers must include them; no matter that the book presents extensive guidance on valuation as well as law; no matter that my coauthor was a banker; .no matter than I have an MBA and decades of experience in financial research. No….this reader was disappointed and lashed out, citing my PhD in literature as a tragic flaw……
I have coauthored nine books in the Art of M&A series for McGraw-Hill and I think this will be my last.
It is time to write the Great American Novel. I may cast Shuyan Wang as the nemesis for my heroine!
Alexandra Reed Lajoux
Correction: “must include them” has no antecedent for the pronoun! Eeek! I should have written “must include rules and reg’s.”
My estranged sister left me a damaging one-star book review. She’s never even seen the book!
A friend had to explain that; “It’s a story, Jim, but not as we know it” was a bad review. Up to that point, I’d been quite flattered by the analysis. At least the reviewer was sufficiently moved to post. Positive thinker or delusional? I suppose that’s for others to say…
The most outrageous one I have ever seen was 1 star and comment that the reviewer had returned the book unread because of the price.
I think I had the same creep once! lol
Hahahaha! A banal beer! Loved this post :)
Derek, a great post. The one star review bit made sense. Oh, oh…there are a couple of your typos! But, never mind, the post content overrides them. Christine
Typos!! Oh dear!! Please tell.
I find it amazing that the one star reviewers can’t write worth a penny. Your examples were very humorous, and it might be hard to take them seriously..
Its great you can laugh at yourself. There is wisdom in your amusing post. Regards. Kevin
Kind of reminds me of a particular one star for one of my books Derek:
“The story dosent really pull the reader in. The writing is ment for a very young reader. The story line is rather boring.”
Note that the ‘reviewer’ can’t spell to save themselves! ;)
Hahahahaha! But seriously. Very intelligently put, especially the bit about having no bad reviews looking, well, suspicious. Am now more than tempted to read more of your stuff.
Wonderful! Now I await your cutting one star review! lol :)
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