Wonderful One Star Funny Book Reviews I Have Received On Amazon

Wonderfully Bad Book Reviews

Terrible one-star funny book reviews for your Kindle book are not as bad as you think.

Call me a twisted masochist, but there is something perversely pleasurable that I adore about one-star bad book reviews.

I have been fortunate enough to gain, mostly, wonderful feedback and positive reviews on Amazon from readers.

But it never ceases to amaze me what some ‘let’s stick the boot in,’ readers find worth commenting on after reading (or perhaps only possibly reading) my books.

What can I attack?

Usually, bad reviews involve ignoring the story entirely and finding fault in anything from my UK spelling to hating the cover of my book on Amazon.

With a little imagination, I suppose, there is always something to dislike about any book – or any author.

For those new to writing and self-publishing, bad one-star Amazon reviews can come as an unpleasant shock.

It can even be a depressing experience, especially if the reviews seem to attack the author personally.

But they are a reality, and for any author with a thin skin who struggles to deal with them, it’s time to toughen up.

Don’t jump off the nearest balcony or in front of a train.

Learn to accept them and understand that someone went to a lot of trouble to leave a review on your book, even if it was less than complimentary.

 

A few bad one-star rating book reviews are a fact of life

Let’s face it, a book with only five-star reviews looks like it could be using fake or paid reviews.

Negative reviews are, in fact, necessary and beneficial for balance and to show that your book has been read and reviewed by more than just your family.

In a perverse sense, a book needs a couple of bad reviews from honest reviewers to validate the credibility of all the other good reviews a book receives.

To give a taste of the flavor of one-star book reviews, here is a small selection below of a few of my favorite bad, yet funny book reviews I have received.

In reading 34% of this book I have documented 17 typos, and I stopped counting all the incomplete sentences in the first 10%.

As far as fast moving, this story read slower than Jane Austen or Dostoyevsky.

Well, how many pages is 34%, and sentence fragments stopped being counted after 10%? Why did you stop at 10%?

Perhaps my British English spelling accounted for some of the typos. But to be ranked up there with Jane Austen and Dostoyevsky is quite a backhanded compliment. Nice!

Oh, by the way, you missed a third person ‘s‘ on read. The story reads! Typo to you at the 87% point of your review.

 

Some of my favorite bad but funny book reviews

It’s utterly banal, although Haines comes across as a person who it may be fun to have a drink with.

Cheers! I’ll drink to that. So when do we meet for a banal beer?

I am afraid that unless you are a fairly interesting person leading a fairly interesting life (let us say a Bill Bryson), writing a book about yourself and your opinions usually is not really interesting.

Who is Bill Bryson? Anyway, I’ve met Charles Aznavour and Phil Collins, which I think is interesting?

But you’re right. I am really boring, as most writers are.

I’ll be sure to write in the third person next time to make myself sound more interesting.

It was kind of silly to me. Might like it, it is SyFy but I did not care for the story line.

Um, I think you meant sci-fi. Oh, and of course, it was silly. The story is a farce, and a farce is a bit silly.

Eh, who might like it? I’m really sorry, but your grammar lost me in translation. But did you happen to like the cover?

where are all these high reviews coming from?

From readers actually. You know, those people who buy and read books, to the end. By the way, in my book, a sentence usually starts with a capital letter.

 

Conclusion

As you can see, my little selection of terribly bad reviews was actually quite fun.

So, if you get a bad one-star book review, don’t get upset, and definitely, do not respond to them.

Some of these one-star reviewers are habitual and seeking attention.

Replying and trying to defend yourself, or argue, only plays to what they would like – more attention. 

Just have a laugh, or a quick little cry, and be thankful that someone went to the trouble of writing a review of your book.

I have one last important note about one-star book reviews.

Without fail, they are almost always posted on ebooks that are perma-free or have been part of a free book giveaway, especially on Kindle.

If you would prefer to attract fewer meaner book reviews, perhaps avoid giving your ebooks away for free too often.

 

Further reading: How To Handle Negative People And Spiteful Criticism Online

Derek Haines

A Cambridge CELTA English teacher and author with a passion for writing and all forms of publishing. My days are spent writing and blogging, as well as testing and taming new technology.

Avatar for Derek Haines

19 thoughts on “Wonderful One Star Funny Book Reviews I Have Received On Amazon

  • Avatar for Corrine Ardoin
    June 15, 2021 at 12:57 am
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    Thank you, so much, for this article. After discovering some 2-star ratings on Goodreads for my newly launched book (which they received free), I needed some perspective and found it in your articles. I have also heard a wonderful radio interview on the same topic, a newly launched book getting a horrible rating, their first rating on Amazon that sits there like an ugly face on their book’s review section.

    Well, I can toughen up, but I also agree that Goodreads and giving away books for free are probably a waste of time and money. They are getting the book free, then saying the book’s not for them. Why say anything? My parents taught me, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. I try to look at the author’s heart and soul that went into the writing of their novel and imagine if it were me, before I write a review, But, some people, like you say, can’t help themselves. One thing I learned from the radio interview I heard, was to take a look at the other ratings said 2-star or 1-star reader left for other books. I did. And, the only books they gave 5-stars for were children’s books, like Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Every adult book, except romance novels, were given 2-stars. So, there you go. I think. All in all, my life has not been bettered by Goodreads, so I think I will let it go. My life has not been bettered by Facebook either. I discovered a new site, just for authors, and I love it.

    Reply
  • Avatar for T.L. Criswell
    May 22, 2020 at 1:09 pm
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    I love this post! It you want to be a writer “tough skin” is a must. The low reviews do sting, however, they help you grow, especially if it’s detailed.
    I received a low review from “Indie reader” once. He said, “This book was Smothered in emotion. Reminded him of classic novel by Louise Merriwether Daddy was a number runner. A clumsily executed afternoon TV special.”
    The PR lady said “ I’m so sorry, I won’t post it.” I said “Yes you will.“

    In many cases when a reviewer just attacks the editing, you have to brush those off. There’s always someone who can find something wrong with you book. I had a review attack my editing on my latest book. It sounds much like your review. After it was posted, an editor immediately Inboxed me telling me she could fix it for a few grand. I said, “I’ll pass.

    Anyway, awesome post!

    Reply
  • Avatar for Irene
    May 28, 2019 at 8:09 am
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    I have very few reviews so getting the nasty 1-star on Goodreads was disheartening. Especially when he only read one chapter. He also commented on a supposed typo in the first sentence and grammatical errors that were not really errors.

    You’re right about attention-getting. That’s all this was. He either gave 1-star reviews with a lot of drivel or 4-5 stars that said something like, “f***ing good read.” Thanks for your humorous take on this topic.

    Reply

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