I adore the Grammar Police
Grammar officers in their thousands are ever watchful and frightfully quick on the draw whenever the tiniest of grammatical error, typo, or erroneous spelling error hits the ether of the Internet.
So fast are they, in fact, I have to say that I might forget all about undertaking the tedious task of proofreading my blog posts from now on, and simply wait for the Grammar Cops to do all the work for me.
A marvellous, free community service that will save me hours of tedious work.
So how does my cunning plan work?
I stumbled upon the idea a couple of days ago when I made a very clumsy error.
I wrote a new blog post, and as it was well after midnight by the time I had finished, I left it in draft and planned to do my proofreading and format checking the next morning.
Better to be fresh to do all that sort of thing.
However, being as tired as I was, I inadvertently clicked the wrong button on my WordPress editor. Instead of Save Draft, I clicked Publish.
I didn’t notice of course, and I went off to get ready for bed. I grabbed my phone, and as I was about to set my alarm, I noticed three new notifications on my Twitter feed.
Yes, they were from three wonderfully alert Grammar officers!
One was even kind enough to post a small image of the grammatical errors they found in my text, complete with little red corrections. How wonderfully thoughtful.
When I checked the link, I realised straight away what had happened. My draft blog post was published, and live on my blog, complete with typos and errors. I hadn’t even done my habitual Grammarly check.
I, of course, ran back immediately to my laptop and corrected the errors, in a flash. Phew! Writer reputation saved or at least salvaged.
But then I realised that the English language Grammar officers are far faster, more efficient, more vigilant and, as I discovered, a lot more helpful than I could ever have imagined.
And how nice was it of the one officer who went to all the trouble of sending me an image, with little red corrections?
Clearly, the Grammar force must have hundreds, if not thousands of RSS feeds, Google Alerts or any number of other clever techie tools to track new blog posts, which they instantly peruse for the smallest sign or hint of grammatical and spelling offences.
In my case, one your instead of you’re. I did double my offence, though, by doing a copy and paste of part of this offending phrase, for emphasis.
More reading: What’s the difference between simile and metaphor?
So, yes, I got into double grammar trouble.
Anyway, the upshot of this little episode is that now it is clear that I can save myself a lot of time and energy.
I don’t need to slave over my blog posts, proofreading and correcting before publishing.
All I need to do is publish and wait for the Grammar (Nazi ?) cops to jump into action.
Within thirty minutes, I can quickly scan all their suggested corrections, make the edits where needed, and immediately republish my perfect text.
Before anyone other than the members of the Grammar Force has had a chance to read it.
What a cunning plan!
Their, they’re, there, I am only joking.
More reading: The Best Free Online Grammar Check