The Grammar Police Are Watching Every Word You Write

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Grammar Police

I adore the Grammar Police

Grammar officers in their thousands are ever watchful and frightfully quick on the draw whenever the tiniest of grammatical error, typo, or erroneous spelling error hits the ether of the Internet.

So fast are they, in fact, I have to say that I might forget all about undertaking the tedious task of proofreading my blog posts from now on, and simply wait for the Grammar Cops to do all the work for me.

A marvellous, free community service that will save me hours of tedious work.


So how does my cunning plan work?

I stumbled upon the idea a couple of days ago when I made a very clumsy error.

I wrote a new blog post, and as it was well after midnight by the time I had finished, I left it in draft and planned to do my proofreading and format checking the next morning.

Better to be fresh to do all that sort of thing.

However, being as tired as I was, I inadvertently clicked the wrong button on my WordPress editor. Instead of Save Draft, I clicked Publish.

I didn’t notice of course, and I went off to get ready for bed. I grabbed my phone, and as I was about to set my alarm, I noticed three new notifications on my Twitter feed.

Yes, they were from three wonderfully alert Grammar officers!

One was even kind enough to post a small image of the grammatical errors they found in my text, complete with little red corrections. How wonderfully thoughtful.

When I checked the link, I realised straight away what had happened. My draft blog post was published, and live on my blog, complete with typos and errors. I hadn’t even done my habitual Grammarly check.

I, of course, ran back immediately to my laptop and corrected the errors, in a flash. Phew! Writer reputation saved or at least salvaged.

But then I realised that the English language Grammar officers are far faster, more efficient, more vigilant and, as I discovered, a lot more helpful than I could ever have imagined.

And how nice was it of the one officer who went to all the trouble of sending me an image, with little red corrections?

Clearly, the Grammar force must have hundreds, if not thousands of RSS feeds, Google Alerts or any number of other clever techie tools to track new blog posts, which they instantly peruse for the smallest sign or hint of grammatical and spelling offences.

In my case, one your instead of you’re. I did double my offence, though, by doing a copy and paste of part of this offending phrase, for emphasis.


More reading: What’s the difference between simile and metaphor?


So, yes, I got into double grammar trouble.

Anyway, the upshot of this little episode is that now it is clear that I can save myself a lot of time and energy.

I don’t need to slave over my blog posts, proofreading and correcting before publishing.

All I need to do is publish and wait for the Grammar (Nazi ?) cops to jump into action.

Within thirty minutes, I can quickly scan all their suggested corrections, make the edits where needed, and immediately republish my perfect text.

Before anyone other than the members of the Grammar Force has had a chance to read it.

What a cunning plan!

Their, they’re, there, I am only joking.


More reading: The Best Free Online Grammar Check


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Derek Haines

Derek Haines is an Australian author, living in Switzerland.

9 thoughts on “The Grammar Police Are Watching Every Word You Write

  • April 14, 2019 at 3:28 pm

    this makes no sense lol. no need for comma and their makes no sense, at least you tried

  • May 11, 2018 at 12:22 am

    It appears that most errors are simply typos, I think that most people actually DO know the difference between your and you’re but made a mistake which proofreading should eliminate.

    So the answer to stopping grammar police is proof reading.

    If you still have errors, maybe you deserve their attention and should learn the rules!!

    And if you STILL have errors, you might deserve all the trolling you get.

  • January 27, 2018 at 8:16 pm

    For a while my email signature said “Profread, porfread, poofread; it’s very impotent.” People kept emailing me back to point out my errors so I gave up on humor.

  • April 24, 2017 at 8:49 am

    Your sign should read,They’re there for you. Not ,Their they’re for you.

  • February 7, 2017 at 7:12 pm

    Love the spellcheck too! Write posts in Word.doc first to organize, and correct grammar, then copy into WordPress to publish. Works for me! Christine

  • February 4, 2017 at 2:55 pm

    There is an excellent way not to upset them! Edit each and every post before pressing the publish button. Mind you, you can always go back and edit once published, but then you wouldn’t hear the end of it now would you? Damned if we do, damned if we don’t Derek ;)

  • January 28, 2017 at 8:53 pm

    I feel for you! I published a draft one time, and now I’m a nervous wreck every time I write a post for fear that I’ll make that mistake again. I’m happy to see you can have a sense of humor about the situation, and thanks for sharing so we all know we aren’t alone!


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