Why do we get lay vs lie so confused all the time?
These two verbs cause so many problems, even for proficient English speakers.
The cause of the misuse is in the grammar. Isn’t it always?
Well, let’s get the technical stuff out of the way first and then look at some examples.
The main contrast between the verb lie and the verb lay is that one is an intransitive verb and the other is a transitive verb.
Lay is transitive, and lie is intransitive.
The easiest way to remember which verb is which is to think about the root of the word transitive, which is transit. It means to go across or passage from one place to another.
Therefore, a transitive verb moves the action across to an object, while an intransitive verb action is not transferred and only applies to the subject.
An intransitive verb does not have an object.
The baby is teething.
I work for a building company.
They laughed together.
We talked for a while.
A transitive verb requires an object.
Mike used to manage a restaurant.
Did you wash the dishes?
I can move my car.
Can I open the window?
With lay and lie
I lie down in the afternoon. (intransitive)
I lay the book on the table. (transitive)
A chicken lays eggs. (transitive)
We lie together on the beach. (intransitive)
Further reading: What Is The Subjunctive Mood And When Should You Use It?
Lay and lie and their confusing tense forms
Where these two verbs get a little more complex is when we change tense.
The reason for most of the confusion is that the past tense of lie is lay, which is the present tense of lay.
Boy, English really has a way of making things tough sometimes.
The past forms of to lay are easy and regular. Lay, laid, laid.
But for to lie, the forms are easy to forget because they are so weirdly irregular. Lie, lay, lain. How often do you use or hear the past participle lain?
Luckily, the present participle of lie and lay are regular. Laying, lying.
In everyday use, it becomes easier if you try to remember that lay requires a direct object.
Lay means to put something down, often gently.
I laid the book on my bed.
She was laid low for a week by the flu.
Could you lay my new dress on my bed, please?
I laid the table with our best crockery.
Lie means to take a horizontal position and doesn’t require a direct object.
I think I’ll lie quietly and see if it helps my headache.
I lay down for an hour this morning.
I had only lain down for a few minutes when the phone rang.
He lay still for a moment.
It is easy really. If there is an object, it is lay. If there is no object, it is lie.
Further reading: The Best Free Online Grammar Check With Punctuation Checker
The world of music is why we learn to get it all so wrong
Bob Dylan and Eric Clapton are to blame!
Sorry Bob and Eric, but your songs should be Lie Lady Lie and Lie Down Sally.
Can you spot why some of these popular song titles use lay incorrectly?
Lay Lady Lay (wrong)
Lay Down Sally (wrong)
Lay Your Hands On Me (correct)
Now I Lay Thee Down (correct)
Pick ’em Up and Lay ’em Down (correct)
Lover Lay Down (wrong)
Dave Matthews Band
I Lay Down and Die (wrong)
Lay It Down (correct)
Lay Your Money Down (correct)
Lay Back Daddy (wrong)
Lay Me Down Easy (correct)
Three Dog Night
Lay Another Log on the Fire (correct)
Lay Your Love on Me (correct)
Would You Lay With Me (wrong)
Lay Down Beside Me (wrong)
Does it matter if you use lay and lie incorrectly?
If it is a matter of people understanding, well, maybe not. But if you are a writer, you should take the time to iron out any knots you might have with these two verbs.
Getting them right is much better than being attacked by the grammar police.
I’ll leave you with a little relaxation, but I expect after reading this article, your ears might now react to how Bob and Eric got it all so wrong.